How I manage my moneyI earn £52,000 and I still check my bank balance every morning

I am 34, I live in Bristol with my husband and I work as a project manager for a housing association. My salary is £52,000. By most measures we are comfortable.

Every morning, before I have sat up, I open my banking app and look at the number. I have done it for about ten years.

Where the habit came from

I grew up in a household where money ran out before the month did. Nobody hid it from me. I remember my mum doing sums on the back of envelopes at the kitchen table and I remember what her face looked like when the sum did not work.

When I got my first proper job I was earning more than both my parents combined had earned at my age, and I still could not shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong.

The number was never the problem. The problem was that I did not trust it to stay the number.

What we actually earn and spend

After tax, student loan and pension, I take home about £3,050 a month. My husband earns a little less. We have a joint account that each of us pays a fixed share into, proportional to our salaries, and that account covers the mortgage and all the household bills.

My share of the mortgage is £780 a month. We bought a two-bed terrace three years ago and fixed for five years, which I am very grateful for, and slightly dreading the end of.

The system that calmed me down

Checking the balance was never about information. It was about reassurance. So a couple of years ago I tried to build a set-up that would answer the question before I asked it.

I opened separate pots within my bank for each type of spending: bills, food, transport, gifts, and a buffer. On pay day, everything is moved into the right pot. My main balance is meant to be boring.

The buffer was the important part. It is a fixed £1,500 that sits there doing nothing. It is not savings and it is not for holidays. It is there so that a surprise bill does not feel like an emergency.

I still check every morning. But now I'm checking that nothing has changed, rather than bracing for what has.

Saving and pension

I pay 5% into my workplace pension and my employer adds more. Beyond that I save £500 a month into a savings account we earmarked for the end of our mortgage fix, in case rates are higher when it comes up for renewal.

We also put a small amount into a stocks and shares ISA each month. I know investments go down as well as up; that is precisely why I did not start until the buffer and the savings felt solid.

Talking about it

The most useful thing I did was tell my husband about the habit. I was embarrassed. He had noticed years ago and assumed I was reading the news. We now have a short money check-in on the first Sunday of every month, and it has done more for my anxiety than any app.

What I'd tell someone like me

A higher salary does not automatically make you feel safe. Being able to explain where every pound is going does. If you check your balance compulsively, it might be worth asking what question you are really trying to answer, and whether your accounts could answer it for you.